Belief and Reliance

I once believed so deeply in the power of self that my sense of reality became warped. This distortion led me to cling to the idea that sheer willpower alone could guarantee success in anything I pursued. The problem was, my belief in this approach caused me to focus on visualizing my goals without following through on the hard work necessary to achieve them.

For example, I wanted to become a famous rapper. I embraced the lifestyle—the excess, the creative expression—but when it came to writing songs or producing music, I fell short. Very short. Instead, I convinced myself that singing along to my music while roaming the streets of Santa Monica was enough. On good days, you’d find me blasting music, believing I was the hottest thing since lava. On bad days, I couldn’t understand why I was back in a psychiatric unit, labeled a danger to myself or others.

The belief I had in my abilities, combined with my reliance on figuring things out on my own, led me into a delusional state that took some harsh realities to snap me out of—and left a trail of destruction in its wake. Drugs became my way to salve the dissonance from within.

Why do I share this? Because it illustrates how belief and reliance are interconnected, and how they can shape our mental state. When these are aligned with logic and purpose, they can create an unshakable foundation. The challenge lies in what we choose to rely upon. When I relied solely on myself, I defied the broader system of which I was a part. It’s like I was out of sync with the natural flow of things, obstructing my ability to align with anything.

I am talking about belief in the guiding forces of this world and the minds intuitive nature to drift towards connection. In becoming reliant upon this guiding force, someone's world can expand to a limitless place and stay rooted in truth. When the obstruction of self interferes, I've witnessed my world contract to nothing. It’s a system, and I now understand my role as a contributor to the whole. I am not the system.

It’s impossible to rely entirely on self and on the universal whole at the same time. Most people find a balance between the two, adjusting as they go through life. But for me, being an all-or-nothing person, I make a decision every day: fully invest in self, or fully surrender to the greater good of the system. Naturally I will drift to self. There are specific things I must do to simply remind myself that I am not the center of the universe.

When our reliance shifts, so do our beliefs about the world, which transforms our perception and can awaken something deeper—call it spiritual, if you will. Belief and reliance have the power to build an unshakable mental state, but the key is to examine what you’re relying on. That insight will reveal your core beliefs. From there, it’s about choosing which pain is worth enduring: the pain of clinging to self-reliance, or the discomfort of surrendering to the guidance of something greater. The latter requires patience, willingness, and effort—but it may or may not be the freedom you seek.

#BuiLtIn